I think about it all the time: Charli xcx’s BRAT and Motherhood

As BRAT Summer comes to an end, it’s time to look at some of Charli xcx’s most underrated tracks on her BRAT album

This BRAT summer we’ve had the Apple dance, Charli XCX’s Boiler Room set in Ibiza, and finally, an iconic collaboration with Billie Eilish on a remix of Guess. But beyond the many hits, or club classics, of the BRAT album that has captivated fans, Charli grapples with complex themes of friendship and girlhood, seen with the song girl, so confusing, as well as motherhood on one of her least talked about tracks I think about it all the time.

“I think about it all the time” is a fearless articulation on the realities of motherhood: the joys, the constraints, the fears, alongside tackling the idea that female fertility is a ticking clock that starts when a woman passes thirty.

The song opens with Charli stating “I think about it all the time, that I might run out of time”, immediately introducing listeners to the anxiety surrounding the small window of time women have to decide to be mothers, rather than actually having children. In the song, Charli discusses her relationship with her fiancé, George Daniel, best known for being the drummer in The 1975, singing “But I finally met my baby, and a baby might be mine.” Whilst Charli celebrates finding love, she also grapples with the consequences, opportunities and changes motherhood would bring to her lifestyle, questioning “Would it give my life a new purpose?”

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In the next verse, Charli talks to the listener like an old friend, telling her audience about her trip to Stockholm to meet her friend’s baby. She discusses the happiness she felt “How sublime, what a joy, oh my, oh my”, but most importantly, she focuses on how her friend has retained her individuality “Standing there, same old clothes she wore before holding her child.” Here; Charli reassures a key anxiety surrounding motherhood, the idea of losing the person you were before; to become the “mum” label. With distorted vocals that highlight the next line, Charli addresses the beauty of not just motherhood, but parenthood, “She’s a radiant mother, and he’s a beautiful father,” before jumping back into the chorus to her own fears “Would it make me miss all my freedom?” This back and forth between the beauty and unique experience of becoming a parent, to grappling with the potential consequences of losing freedom and individuality, articulate the many worries and choices women have to navigate.

Throughout the song Charli emphasises that, although motherhood doesn’t mean an erasure of identity, it also forces you to experience change. She tells the listener how her friends with children “know these things that I don’t”, and how even though “they’re exactly the same” they’re also “different.” Whilst this change is terrifying, Charli simultaneously can’t help but tell the listener “I’m so scared I’m missin’ out on something.” In the final verse of the song, Charli’s raw honesty sits with the listener as she unveils a conversation with her fiancé, once again, using distortion on her vocals to highlight the lyrics – “Should I stop my birth control? ‘Cause my career feels so small in the existential scheme of it all.” Here, Charli debates not only the trajectory of her life with children, but the impact it will have on her career, a very common anxiety that will relate to a large portion of her female audience.  

Finally, Charli ends the song with no definite conclusion on motherhood, repeating the title of the track I think about it all the time – suggesting that, although the decision is in the back of her mind, it is too complicated a topic to be resolved within a two minute and fifteen seconds song. Beyond its raw lyrics, I think about it all the time musically is one of my favourite tracks on the album, with its strange electronic whirring at the beginning that jumps into a fast-paced beat that compliments Charli’s vocals throughout. With I think about it all the time, Charli adds another layer to her album that fits with the complexities of the female experience and proves once again BRAT is more than just club music.

But is BRAT summer truly coming to an end? With Charli’s Arena tour this November, perhaps BRAT autumn is somewhere on the horizon.